Things you see at 4:00 am

Like many of my friends I work nights and thus I have the misfortune of being awake for a lot more hours than most people and get time to think and write accodingly. These are just reflections on the curent state of everything I have an opinion about.

Friday, April 01, 2005

A young mans game....

That's right I am going to bitch about how I am getting too old to do the things that never used to phase me. At work we recently restarted our Trail Safety Patrol and like an idiot I signed up for four shifts of it. This means two things for me semi human hours for a change and an incredibly sore ass. Today marked my third shift in a row of this and as I got my bike out I knew it wasn't going to be a very good day from the get go. First off I have had issues with a pinched nerve in my neck since December but because insurance companies are bastards I have been without coverage since December and I fear getting it looked at because my wonderful OSU student insurance would end before I can enroll under the open enrollment policy at work I don't want the new company having a chance to claim this is a pre-existing condition and refusing payment for it. But anyway I digress, as I was airing the tire to my bike I broke the valve stem, strike one . After a few minutes of swearing I had to choose a new bike out of the pool because we did not have any replacement tubes, and all of the other bikes have grip shifters which I despise. Then on the trail I had the great fortune of being assigned the stretch of trail no one else wants to ride because it is nothing but up and down hills with no water stations to refill and no shade. I sweat pretty bad anyway and throw a 4 hour bike ride while wearing bullet proof vest on top of that and it is a recipe for an ambulance ride. The only saving grace for this stretch of trail is the down hill after you climb to the top your momentum normally carries you about half way up..... Too bad the wind was blowing so strongly in our faces that it could bring me to a stand still while riding down the hill, strike two. Then the only term I have for the constant pain in my back side is saddle sores, by the time this spring is over I will have a callous on my ass that will be able to stop bullets, strike three. And as I look ahead at my fresh faced three years younger than me partner who is ready to go for another eight hours on the bike I realize that I am not quite as energetic or athletic as I used to be. So now there are only two options left to me I can either work my ass off and get back into shape with a good diet and regular exercise, or I can accept the inevitable and find a nice job indoors and let my body continue to grow horizontally. Personally I am looking forward to being as fat as walrus and kicking the bucket of a heart attack when I am forty I have had a good run besides the day I can't wipe y own ass is the day I expect someone to do me the courtesy of ending my misery.


Blogger Bob said...

"This means two things for me semi human hours for a change and an incredibly sore ass." Make sure you use protection...and use thick water soluble lubricant!

10:45 AM  
Blogger kenjihara said...

You don't sound like you're too psyched about being on the bike.

Personally, a bike ride for me is like nirvana, the sun and the sky. I love to ride, but that's been a big hobby of mine for years.

I am not crazy about twist shifters either, but if you're going to be a rider and you're going to have to ride bikes provided by your department, you should probably ride them enough that you get used to them. Remember, it's just a shifter; it's not the most important interface you have with the bike.

Speaking of interfaces, it sounds like your ass isn't interfacing well with your saddle. Here is my advice to you.

1. Buy good padded shorts.
2. Ride more. Saddle sores will go away.
3. Shop for a better saddle. The squishiest isn't necessarily the best. Look for something that won't make you impotent and won't turn your cheeks into burger meat. A concave shape like the Specialized Body Geometry is good.
4. Pay close attention to the position of your saddle. Is the nose higher? Or the tail? I find that the best way for me is to adjust the angle so that the tail is slightly higher than the nose (barely). This way, my weight is on the back of the saddle and not so much on my perineum (joy dep't plumbing in there). Also, I make certain that the saddle is forward enough on it's rails (they slide forward and backward) that I have more weight on the cheek portions, and (again) not on the bit in between.

This is probably a lot of stuff you already know, but I thought I'd try to help. Ride more and right off-road with serious riders and your trail riding work will become trail-riding fun.

3:39 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home